last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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