you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
