i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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