I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
