I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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