id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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