just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
