My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
