I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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