This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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