if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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