You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize