I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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