So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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