This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
