yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I woke up under a house in Key West
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