That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
