I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
