The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
