She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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