I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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