Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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