Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Randomize
