after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
