I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
