if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
