He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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