You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
