Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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