Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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