Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
