I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
