people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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