so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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