I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
