Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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