Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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