I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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