I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
