highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize