He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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