Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
