you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
