Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
