D3 body, D1 cock
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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