This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
