she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize