you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
