apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
