when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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