I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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