i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
