My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
