They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
