FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Shame - the story of my life.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
