Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
